Fragile
by crowfeathers32
Summary: With her friend's future becoming more uncertain every day, Susie returns to her favorite coping mechanism, much to her wife's chagrin. (I dunno. This was a plotbunny that popped up while I was writing "Beautiful" and it held my brain at gunpoint until it got written.)


Susie yawns, stretching her arms back behind her before leaning forward to grab her beer can from the coffee table. It's a bad habit, one she picked up from her father. It sent him into a early grave - well, technically it was the car he stepped out in front of that sent him there, but same difference. She drinks it anyway, sinking down into the couch. It's been a while since she's had the time to sit on her ass and drink some beer.

"Susie, are you, um, going to get up today?" Noelle sweeps into the living room, blocking Susie's view of the TV and bending over to pick up the empty can that Susie had left earlier. She's wearing a very short skirt, and usually, the view would encourage Susie to lean forward and pull the reindeer onto her lap for a heavy makeout session. Today, she grunts and leans her head to the side.

She drinks the remaining beer in one long gulp. "I dunno." She wonders if there's any beer left. Did she just finish off the last one, or was there one left? She pulls herself up and heads for the kitchen, now empty can in hand.

"I was thinking we might visit Kris and Ralsei today," Noelle calls from the other room. "Poor guy doesn't get out of the house much anymore."

The empty can is chucked into the trash and Susie opens the fridge,scowling at the lack of beer. "Don't really feel like it today, babe."

The last time they had visited, Susie had ended up carrying Kris out of their bedroom and downstairs into the living room. It was like carrying a sack of potatoes. They were so much lighter than they had been even just six months ago. Before they left, she had carried them back up so Ralsei wouldn't have to.

Seeing Kris deathly ill and bedridden, the light in their eyes draining, Ralsei looking more and more worn down from being a full time caregiver now - who wants to see their friends like that?

The image of Noelle (makeup running, eyes red and puffy from crying, face thinning from weeks of stress) post funeral flashes through her mind. Susie grits her teeth and blinks it out of her mind.

Noelle joins her in the kitchen now. Her beer can is deposited into the trash, and Noelle stares down at it. "Um, well, it's just. Well. It's not like Kris is going to be around forever, you know?"

Susie's throat tightens. She continues her search of the fridge. How is it that they have everything from steak to kumquat to three different types of mustard, but no more beer? She just bought a twelve pack the other day. She slams the door shut. "We're out of beer. I'm going to the store."

Noelle looks up from the trash bin to frown at her, but doesn't say anything.

Susie doesn't go to the store. She drives past it, makes a turn, passes the church that Noelle drags her to once a week, and doesn't stop driving until she's in the next town over.

She pulls into the parking lot of The Drunk Skunk, smiling nostalgically as she pushes past the old fashioned swinging doors. The bartender, a small mouse woman, smiles at her from across the counter. The other patrons wave at her.

"Well now, here's a face I ain't seen in a while."

Susie takes her favored, once frequently regular seat. The man in the seat next to her, some type of fox - come to think of it, she never took the time to ask exactly what he was - beams at her. "Well, if it isn't Susie!" He booms.

She nods at him. "Hey, Raymond. Been a while."

"The usual, hon?" The barkeeper asks, eyes twinkling in a knowing way.

"You know it, Jangles." Susie grins and Jangles produces a beer shortly. Without hesitating, Susie drains half of the glass in one gulp.

Raymond claps her on the back as she lets out the kind of unrestrained belch that always makes Noelle roll her eyes. "Whew! Thirsty, yeah?"

"You could say that."

Jangles leans in close, so close her whiskers come dangerously close to tickling Susie's chin. It's unnecessary to be that close when she doesn't lower her voice and Raymond is in the seat right next to her, but she does it anyway. "Everything okay, hon? You didn't have a falling out with your little lady, did you?"

Come to think of it, she hasn't been here more than a few times since they got engaged.

Susie chugs down the other half of the pitcher (which is met an equeal mixture of cheers and laughter) before responding. "God, no, we're- me and Noelle're fine. Just needed a drink, is all."

"Then what're you doin' here on a Thursday for, hon? Last I knew, you were baggin' groceries most nights."

"The store closed down. It's crazy, because business was fine, but that lazy ass skeleton just closed up early one day and told us we were all fired."

Raymond looks into his drink (whiskey on the rocks, Susie remembers) thoughtfully and Jangles refills the empty mug in front of her.

"Sweetheart, I'm a bartender." Jangles gives her a piercing look, one that makes her feel smaller somehow. "I know when people need a drink. And I also know when people are tryin' to drown their sorrows. You, girlie, are drownin' something." She sets the pitcher on the bar, puts a hand on her hip. "And I know you ain't in here all tore up over a little grocery job. What's goin' on, sweetie?"

Susie frowns and starts chugging again. Raymond laughs heartily.

"Jangles, woman, you don't need to interrogate the girl! Sometim-"

Susie wipes her mouth with her sleeve. "No, I- I really should talk about it."

The sun is getting low, casting warm yellow rays onto Noelle's once immaculate garden. "Are you sure she's at the bar?" Father Alvin's voice crackles sympathetically through the phone.

She uproots a particularly strong weed and adjusts the phone so it's resting against her shoulder, biting back a sigh. "She mumbled something about going to the store for beer, and I know it doesn't take four and a half hours. It's where she always goes when she's trying to avoid confronting something." Another weed is pulled out. "Kris just isn't getting better, and I think it's really starting to get to her. I tried to get her to visit them with me today, but..."

"I see."

"I just don't want her to make the same mistake that I did, back when Dad got so sick. I hated seeing him like that so much I stopped visiting him. Like, there's only so much time, you know?"

Noelle has to slip off her gardening glove and wipe away the dampness in the corner of her eye. Even after six years, it's still hard to talk about.

"Of course, Noelle."

Headlights appear in the drive, signalling Susie's return. "I'm going to have to call you back, Father. Susie just pulled into the driveway."

"Very well. Please tell Susie that we miss seeing her on Sundays."

Noelle nods before realizing he can't see her. "Yes, Father."

The car door opens and Susie half falls, half staggers out. Noelle rushes to meet her.

She takes her wife's arm and kicks the door shut. The scent of alcohol assaults her nose. "You're drunk, Susie," she says matter of factly.

"I'm just a little buzzed, is all," Susie slurs out, trying to take her into a hug which Noelle shrugs off. Susie starts to fall backwards, and Noelle barely manages to catch her.

"I _cannot believe _you drove home drunk again," she hisses. "You could be _killed _."

What if the neighbors are seeing this?

"Freaking chill, babe," Susie groans, leaning into Noelle so heavily that it's a struggle to keep her upright. "I'm- it- it's fine, baby. We're- we're all dying a little every day."

Noelle's ear twitches and she forces a deep breath before starting to move. They make their way inside, slowly. "No, it's not fine, Susie." With a one hundred and sixty pound lizard practically using her as a cane, each step feels like a marathon, but they eventually reach the door, out of sight from any curious neighbors.

"We're gonna get you to the couch, and then I'm gonna get you some water, okay?" Noelle steers the two of them towards the living room.

"Sounds great, whatever you say, babe," Susie murmurs.

Noelle shrugs her off her shoulder and onto the couch. She lands with a muffled thud. "I'm going to get you some water," she manages inbetween pants. She hasn't had to help Susie into the house in at least two years. "I'll be right back."

"Thank you, Asriel. Seriously, I mean it. You too. Bye." Noelle pulls the cell phone away from her ear and hangs up before setting it down on the end table and leaning back into the sofa with a long sigh.

"You're lucky to have such good friends," her mother comments, sounding bored and handing her a teacup. "I hope you still enjoy tea, dear."

Noelle takes a sip. "Of course I do, Mother." The tea is unsweetened and somewhat bitter, but she takes another sip anyway. She smiles weakly. "Marriage hasn't changed me that much."

Mother blows on her tea. "It certainly has been a while since you've graced me with your presence."

"Mother, I-"

"Yes, yes. I shall spare you the lecture on how you only visit me when you're needing something, dear."

Noelle closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. "I just can't bear to see her like that," Noelle informs her tea. Her reflection stares back at her, looking distantly sad.

"So you sent your little friend Asriel to keep an eye on her? Why not his sibling, that fiend- what was their name again? Crest?"

"Kris, Mother. And they've been very ill. Poor Ralsei - he's basically their full time caregiver now."

Mother nods along as if she remembers or cares who Ralsei is. "Ah yes. I forgot. Being the mayor keeps me so busy that it's easy to forget the problems of little people."

"Kris and Ralsei aren't little to me, Mother."

"Oh, of course, dear." Mother says, smiling, though it doesn't quite reach her eyes. "Ah, to be so invested in such trivial matters."

Noelle rises, fingers clutching her teacup tighter than she means to. "I think it's time for me to retire for the night. Thank you for having me, Mother."

Rising with her, Mother delivers a withering stare. "Noelle darling, what exactly is the longest amount of time that brutish girl has managed to stay sober?"

"_ Mother _."

"I'm just saying, dear. Perhaps it may be time to consider a separation."

Of course that's where she was going. She thrusts the teacup towards Mother, who takes it with a smug expression on her face."I'm going to bed, Mother."

"R-Ralsei?" Consciousness hits Susie like a brick to the head. Or maybe it's just the hangover. Either way, there's a white goat crouching in her blurry field of vision.

"Asriel. Ralsei's taking care of the person who's actually sick."

Oh. Well, that makes sense. These days, Ralsei pretty much refuses to leave Kris' side. Wait. "Where-"

"Her mom's house. Water?" Susie's vision clears just enough to realize she's being offered an opened bottle of water with a straw. She reaches for it, and Asriel puts it in her hand. She drinks as much as she can stomach before asking her next question.

"Why-"

Again, Asriel cuts her off. "Seeing you like this-" he gestures in her general direction - "is upsetting for her. So she called and asked me to keep an eye on you and went to sleep at her mom's house."

"Oh."

"Yeah. 'Oh.' If you need to vomit, there's a bucket right here." He stands and nods down at the floor. "Do you want aspirin now, or do you need to wait?"

"Uh. Give me a bit. Let me get some of this water down first."

"Got it." He seats himself in Noelle's favorite plush chair and unmutes the TV. There's a gameshow on, and the even with the volume low, it hurts her ears.

"Asriel?"

"Yeah?"

"Why- why are you-"

"Because Noelle asked me to." Asriel mutes the TV again and shakes his head, though he keeps his gaze focused on the TV. "Man, I really don't understand what she ever saw in you."

If she wasn't so hungover, she'd be tempted to beat his ass right then. But she can't, so she takes another sip of water before replying, "Tell me how you really feel, dude."

"How I really feel?" Asriel puts his finger to his chin, pretending to be deep in thought. "Hm, well, I'd say that you're just like your father: a mean drunk who doesn't know what's good for them."

"That's below the belt and you know it. If I didn't feel like shit right now, I'd beat the hell out of you for saying that."

Instead of being offended, he chuckles. "Yeah, I shouldn't have said that." His voice softens. "That was mean. For what it's worth, I'm sorry."

She exhales, vague memories from last night filtering in and out. Noelle had to help her in, and Susie thinks she went on some strange tirade about how everyone dies eventually, or something along those lines.

"I dunno, maybe you should say it. I am pretty shitty - like, I did drive home pretty buzzed last night."

Finally, he turns to meet her gaze. "Yeah. Noelle told me. And she looked like she had been crying because she's so fucking scared of losing you." He scowls at her openly now, eyes narrowed. "You need help, Susie. She loves you. Damned if I know why, but she does, and that means something. You can't can't throw that away just because you hate being sober."

Silence.

The sunlight is hurting her head.

"I don't think I've ever heard you drop the f-bomb before, Azzy."

"Is that all you took away from-"

"No, no. You're right. I'm gonna stop drinking - for real, this time."

He nods approvingly, expression softening. "Good. And I'm holding you to that, because I don't think any of us could take it if she had to bury her wife. Seriously. I know you aren't too fragile to live in reality."

"...right."

Asriel lets out a sigh. "And, you know, getting drunk and putting your life in danger isn't gonna make Kris get better."

The door opens with a loud squeak, both waking Susie and announcing Noelle's return. A painfully loud bang emanates from the kitchen, likely Asriel dropping something. If she didn't know any better, it might seem like Asriel is being so loud on purpose.

"Oh, Azzy, you don't need to do that." Noelle's voice seems strained.

"I made a bit of a mess in here trying to make breakfast. Cleaning up after myself is the least I can do." Asriel had forgotten about the eggs and somehow managed to burn them so bad he had ended up starting over with a whole new frying pan. The second batch had been rubbery and undercooked, but at least it had been edible.

"What do you mean the least you can do? You've spent all day looking after Susie, which has already been a tremendous help."

"Hey. It's nothing. All I've really done today is give her water and destroyed your kitchen."

"Well, let me help you. Is she still asleep?"

"Yeah, she's been asleep most of the day. She puked a couple times, so I left her on the couch."

"Ah."

For a while, there's nothing but the sound of dishes being scrubbed and rinsed and put away, all three monsters deep in their private thoughts. Eventually, Susie falls asleep again.

Susie wakes to the sight of Noelle standing in the doorway. She's wearing a skirt that goes all the way down to her ankles. "How are you feeling, honey?"

"Shitty." No sense in lying.

"Alcohol will do that to you." One of her ears twitches.

"Yep." The joke is on Noelle, really. Susie has never needed booze to feel shitty. She keeps this thought to herself, though.

"Do you want me to help you into bed?"

"...yes."

Noelle wraps her arms around her snoring wife, pressing her lips to the back of her neck. She still smells like tobacco and booze - she'll need to shower first thing in the morning.

"I can't sleep," Susie informs her heavily.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"In the morning. When my dumb beer brain doesn't hurt so bad."

Despite herself, Noelle has to stifle a giggle. "I love you, baby."

"I love you too, babe," Susie murmurs back.

Notes: (Someday, I'll get better at endings. Promise.) Also, fun fact! The end was originally going involve a funeral, but I thought it would undermine the rest of the fic to suddenly have them attending Kris's funeral. If I missed any tags, let me know.


End file.
